Saturday, July 17, 2004
Today...
I am moody and messy.I get restless and its senseless.I just lazed around the house...doing nothing useful for myself.All I remembered was my mum waking me up ard 9 plus to tell me that my grandad's younger brother had died and that she was going for the funeral and will be at my Nan's house after that.I continued sleeping and woke up at 1130...upon realising that I actually had 12 hours of sleep and boy,it was peaceful.Today,I woke up feeling...unsually better than the day before...it felt like I woke today with no agenda at all.For a moment...it felt good not knowing wat to do..and wat was my next move.I watched TV,cooked lunch,watched American History X ( was a bloody good movie)...feed my fishes...hm...stoning for a while...actually...not much flow of thoughts.Thank god!!
"Realize the power of your own thoughts!"
Wat I'm trying to say is that...in short...had I thought about "it"...I would definitely woke up a pissed person and my whole day would be terrible.BEcause you see...if you have have negative thoughs...you'll have negative feelings.Eg:Try feeling sad without sad thoughts---or jealous without thoughts of jealousy.You can't do it...it's impossible.
The truth is, in order to experience a feeling, you must first have a thought that produces that feeling.
So yeah...I didn't think much today.All is good my darlings..no worries.I know for the past few entries...I sounded emo and all...but thats how I felt at that time.Wat I really need now is to find some peaceful time for myself.Seclusion seems impossible...so the closest I can get to that is MIA acts!!haha...
Love you guys..always!!
