Tuesday, March 30, 2004
FaCinG ReAliTy HurTs..........
"What wrong with the world mama??"I see my family and friends goin thru difficult times in life...at this very moment.It hurts ...I know.I feel the pain....whether you're in a relationship or not...my dad, he's in the hospital now.Fighting for his life against the final stage of malaria.It was so sudden...and we weren't aware of the symptoms.Lots of things came rushing thru my mind...why?why?why?Then again...there's nothing we could do now...except to encourage him to fight the battle against malaria.Told him not to worry about my mum...its funny...when he was sick at home..he still nagged at us for making too much noise in the morning and waking my mum up.He's still sick and can still worry about my mum.He's still in hospital now...like wat doc said...it seemed that the malaria is in its final stages.He had his blood tranfusion on sat nite...he's now having kidney dialysis...for 3 straight days...as his kidney is infected by the malaria germs.And so is his liver.Now...you may ask...how can I even write in almost vivid details abt this.Well...I've come to accept it...and keeping the faith and hope up!!I've faced reality...I cried till I had no more tears.It saddens me to see my mum hurting...and my siblings."Gotta keep the faith alive till love is found."I thought...if I cried..it saddens my mum more...but I couldn't hold back the tears.MArcus said to me last nite...dun cry in front of those who are upset cause it saddens them more.Yes dear..you're right...I gotta be strong but I"m human...I still need a shoulder to cry on.My mum kept blaming herself...on why she hadn't sent my dad to the hospital early...why didn't occur to her that the fever was too high and inconsistent...I know..in her mind...she's asking all this.I told her..."You didn't know!Its not your fault."
No one can be blamed for wat happened.No one asked for it either.I guess its fate...yes...fate...but this too could be a test to us...how will i overcome...well...I guess...I'll have to wait.
To shan:Take it as it goes...I know it hurts...I feel your pain too...For now,keep yourself busy,occupied...but not too much of it...cause you gotta take care of yourself ya.FAce reality...thats wat I'm doing...it hurts to face reality...but I know...I need to be practical too.KEep that balance.Sooner...its just all go away and things will definitely get better.
To carol:I dunno wats up with you and marcus now.Haven talked to you for long.Just take care of yourself...please dun do anything foolish ya...in general...dun get the wrong idea.NOt dissing you..hope you know that...giving motherly advice la...hehe
To nic:Girl,hope you're having your beauty sleep now...take your rest.
To Sillygirl:ALamak...you're too mysterious la...haha...just take care of urself and girly girls ya.
To nicky boy:Thanks for your concerns....
To the rest of all my dearies...Sam esp...no worries.I'm fine....I gotta be strong.Thank you guys for the birthday wishes and encouragement.Love you guys lots and I dunno wat i do without you dearies.You guys are my support...and I love you with everybit the way you are.
Love,Hera
